“The purpose of the novitiate is to form the candidate progressively to Assumptionist religious life by bringing him to deepen his concept of the evangelical life and confront it with that of the Congregation, in the presence of God and of his brother.”
– Rule of Life #142
According to our Ratio Institutionis, “the novitiate community affords the novices an experience of prayer, of fraternal life, of the vows and of apostolic life;” indeed, eight months of being a novice is an opportunity for me to be immersed in the Assumptionist religious life. If the first period of my novitiate was a time of adjustment and painful separation and renunciation, I consider the second period as a time of deeper learning and assimilation of Assumptionist ideals; it is also a time to know myself better, my community, our brothers and sisters, and Jesus Christ who called me in this vocation.
The second period of my novitiate is also a time to grow in faith. What sustains me in my formation is my relationship with God through our daily prayers and celebration of the Holy Eucharist. I came to realize that prayer must not be just part of my daily routine as a novice but it must be my life. I understood all the more that religious life is a life of constant communion with Jesus, and in the spirit of our Father Founder, Emmanuel d’Alzon, I was lead to live a life where Jesus is incarnated in my heart, in my words and deeds, and in my whole being. Praying is not at all easy, there were times that I do not even feel like praying or going to the chapel early for our community prayers but I let myself experience this dryness knowing that Jesus can make something out of my imperfect prayers. Whenever I experience this spiritual dryness, I let God take over my prayers since I rely not on my own capacity to pray but on His grace, knowing that it was He who drew me to Himself to be united with Him. Our monthly recollection and confession were also very helpful for it made me more aware of His presence and be more honest to God and to the people around me especially my brothers in the community.
As I come face to face with the realities of myself and community life, I am called to believe, to hold on to Jesus even at times wherein I find myself in the midst of conflict. One of the highlights of my community life in the second period is my experience of conflict with one of my brothers in the novitiate. This particular incident tested my patience, understanding, and charity. I ended up having a fractured right ring finger which, until now, has not yet fully recovered. This became a turning point in my formation for it showed myself capable of being physically violent when faced with grave aggression and offensive remarks from other people. Due to this experience, I was filled with anger not only towards myself for throwing the first punch but towards the brother who broke my finger as well especially when he showed no remorse after the incident, when he even laughed at what happened to me, and whenever I saw him doing the same thing which in the first place, was the reason of our conflict. In many ways, this tested my faith and prayer life. Sometimes I find myself praying with anger. In moment such as this, I cannot help but tell Jesus that I am praying with an angry heart and let myself surrender my anger to Him. In my prayer, I also ask Jesus to grant me the grace of having a good heart to forgive the way He has forgiven me; to grant me the faith to see Him in my brothers and to all those who offended me knowing that “he who unites us is stronger than that which separates us” RL #8. Forgiveness may be a journey, a process, but nevertheless I chose to forgive because I believe it is the heart of community life.
Apostolate may not be the focus of my current formation program but I am convinced that my novitiate is preparing me for my ministry in the future. I still continue to teach catechism and values formation to the youth group in the Missionaries of Charity. In the second period of my novitiate, I saw myself, together with my brother novices, doing a different kind of ministry through relief operations, after two strong typhoons and enormous floods hit the Philippines, specifically within and near Antipolo areas. This experience allowed me to see the harsh realities of climate change and its effects and our government’s incapacity to respond to emergency cases in time of crises and calamities. I saw how helpless people were in many places we visited especially the poor. But in the midst of these calamities, I rediscovered the human spirit to triumph even at the midst of affliction and tribulation, the goodness and generosity of people, rich and poor, and the power of hope and faith in the Almighty God that make all things new and beautiful. This chance to work in this ministry strengthened my Assumptionist vocation by letting me realize the urgency of the message of God’s Kingdom – to go where God is threatened in man and man is threatened as the image of God.
My intellectual formation, on the other hand, is being nourished by both our in-house classes and Exodus Modules. Our classes here in the novitiate make me love studies all the more by challenging me to do my best especially in my paper works and class presentations. There are still many areas to improve in our in-house classes especially on the way it is being handled but the contents and materials of our studies are very essential in my formation to know more about our congregation. The Exodus program helps me to have an access to different resources on both my spiritual and human growth. The interaction among the Exodus participants and the formators from different congregations widens my horizon and it also helps me understand how we work as a Church.
THE ELLIS EXPERIENCE 